Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Remembering Tsiki

Dearest Tsiki,
.
Today you would have been 28- years old. When I met you, you were an Israeli 22 year-old. What do I mean by Israeli 22? The only way one that lives in this country can be 22. Fresh-faced out of the army, with a heightened sense of fraternization with your friends than any other culture I’ve witnessed. I suppose when I met you, the relief of you and all the boys leaving the army was reflected in the passion when you all traveled: the jokes on lawn chairs at midnight, and heckling laughter with every step you took and the incessant back slapping. You all carried the excitement of exploring the entire world for the first time- spending the fruits of your labor, one dollar at a time- and enjoying them- for weeks at a time.
.
I often seek you in the faces of strangers. The tall gentlemen at the shop next door has your complexion. The café steps from my work- he has your eyes, the little boy at the playground- he must have been you when you were a child. In my mind I put these attributes together and age you in my mind. It’s my way of finding you in this world.
.
But I cannot age you, because each year I grow older and my body has become that of a 29 year old and in my dreams you are still 23. My mind has grown confused with the more I know and in my memories of you, you will never have one more wrinkle or read the latest pulitzer prize winning book.
.
A few days ago, a comrade of yours in the army wrote to me, to extend his hand in communication and I believe, to tell me he thinks of you. These forms of contacts are few and far between and I know this is your way of speaking to me, to tell me in the form of a caring thought that you still exist in our lives.
.
That you hear us and you want us to hear you.
.
Although my life has moved forward and I can walk with my own two feet from the devastation I experienced in losing you, I think about you every day because you have become a part of me.
.

3 Comments:

At 12/02/2009 8:52 AM, Blogger Avram said...

touching piece ...

 
At 12/02/2009 9:23 AM, Blogger Jo said...

Susi, you write about Tsiki beautifully...I'm thinking about him too and I didn't even know him..

 
At 12/02/2009 10:51 AM, Blogger the llama said...

That's great. Thanks.

 

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