Sunday, November 29, 2009

Smoked Turkey

P Bonez and I have taken cooking flesh to a whole new level when we decided to purchase a second hand smoker from our friends who decided to escape back to L.A. When we first got the smoker, we were sticking everything in it: asparagus, fish, shoe laces, egg cartons, small children. We even had a get together for 6.5 hours for the sole sake of watching the brisket smoke. It's a great southern scenario: my London- born husband sitting in his camping chair holding a Carlsberg watching the sunset- i mean, the brisket smoke.
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We took smoking to a whole new level last Thursday when we decided to shove a 6 kilo turkey inside the Webber and fill it's flesh with hickory smoke. I nearly had a heart attack in my first attempt to prepare the coals before placing them inside of the smoker. My pride prevented me from frantically calling P Bonez to explain that there is wind and the coals don't light with lighters and that we should buy lighter fluid to douse those stubborn _expletive_ coals. But my 20s have brought me patience and when i failed, i kept trying and eventually, after half an hour I had red-hot coals eagerly waiting to be placed under the rump of our luscious turkey.
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Then suddenly, a flood of our friends came in 15 minutes later than expected and ate everything. EVERYTHING. The only thing left was the following:

2 tumble weeds
4 serving platters with only crumbs
a smoked turkey carcass

I kid I kid.
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It was a great party, it was so good that even the off label red wine bottles were empty.

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