Sunday, February 10, 2008

You Must Simply Wait

This month marks the 3rd year that Israel came into my life. Who knew when my El Al flight landed in from Bangkok that I would still be here. Doing the things I do best.
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I can't help but think how this week would have a different connotation if my document wasn't lost last week. Or, if I had more faith that the request for an urgent copy would actually arrive before my Monday immigration meeting.
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Last Thursday I had one of the most amazing nights I'd had in a long time. We were celebrating a close friend's bachellorette night. The night composed of kicking up our heels to traditional Israeli music, microphones and wine. After many glasses of red red wine, I explained my situation to some wine induced friendships. "it's known for the Rabbi's to make it hard for you" explained one of them.
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Don't I know. At this moment, I am almost convinced the losing of my document was intentional. Another way the Rabbinical Court extends their view that my decisions aren't completely 'in my hands'. I can accept this philosophy. In theory only. The fact of the matter is: I believe, through my experiences, that I've already exhausted that philosophy.
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The frustrating part of this religious bureaucracy is that- in fact, I have been rejected over the alloted 3 times. In fact, every individual organization i've been to has rejected me over the traditional 3 times that Judaism is allotted to reject. That is a total of 9 rejection over the last year alone. Not counting the existential 'rejections' I have accumulated just to be here in itself.
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So what does this mean? Absolutely nothing. It means that I still have to sort my life out without being a citizen. It means that my insurance is still costly and I can't plan my next few months because I have to make sure I am available so I can receive the lost document.
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Can you feel my frustrations?
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I can.
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I'll tell you something else. The only way to get through exigent times like this is to truly believe that it's your destiny.
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Fortunately, I know it is.

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