Wednesday, January 23, 2008

all i do is dream.

Ever since the realization that my Aaliyah process here in Israel is almost completed, I've become quite obsessed with the idea. So much that I literally feel like I may possibly have an anxiety attack and fall on the floor shaking to the melody of rockn'roll.
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Not really.
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But i do feel anxious. And I think that anxiety has slipped into my subconscious, into my dreams- and I will probably anxiously blog to gather these thoughts and put them into the universe.
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Last night I had a terrible dream. P Bonez and I boarded a plane and as soon as the engines roared the plane was suddenly moving at an uncontrollably fast speed. I was clinging to the seats. P Bonez was a few aisles behind me due to a mix up in seating arrangements. In those short moments I was convinced we were finished. "No one could live through a crash at this high speed" I found myself thinking, and all I wanted was to get to where P Bonez was. I had to be with him if this was it.
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I woke up sweating and chilled. My hair was plastered to my head and my breathing heavy. It was a crazy dream and when I woke up in my calm bedroom and looked over. I was so grateful it was a dream.
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Today I couldn't get it out of my head. Even more- I have been reminded that it was barely 3 years ago I lived a nightmare where every morning I woke hoping it was a bad bad dream. It's a momentous occasion where nightmares stay nightmares and your beautiful dreams are becoming a reality.

1 Comments:

At 1/23/2008 10:57 PM, Blogger Piercing The Veil said...

it's good you wake up from your nightmares.... i have been having nightmares that i could wake up from .... i hope i would wake up and realized that it's all just but a bad dream ....

hi

 

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