Sunday, October 28, 2007

And we roll.

Many days and moments have passed since the unforgettable Spring of 2005. When hell broke loose in my soul and my heart was thrown into a meat grinder. A non-kosher meat grinder to be exact.
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The change of seasons can't help but become a reminder of how far I've come along, but more importantly, how much time really has passed since then. As I ride my bicycle through a city that was once a strange curl in my tongue, Tsiki's memory brushes over me as i hop a curb on my bicycle. How does Tsiki remind me he's there? A light breeze over the right of my back. Of course. Often, with his light reminder- I tend to get a tear filled smile in my heart, a slight tug, and then I smile with sadness and continue hopping my bike onto a curb and then off of it. "I know you know, that I know you know, so it's ok" I think to him about the past 6 weeks.
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Today's weather was a reminder of how happy I really feel as of late. I am able to grin even if his reminders make my heart ache.
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Shabbat was spent at a friends apartment in Netanya. One wall was dedicated solely to the view of the Mediterranean. It looked like a living memorial. The sky was a palette of soft greens and pinks, and the clouds were a streak of brush across the sky. I leaned my height-fearing self over the edge and spoke lightly to my soul. Something along the lines of how truly fortunate i feel sometimes. I know I often have a habit of sweating the small stuff, and my past is hard to ignore, but I am a strong believer of knowing that I treasure these happy times because I was so aware of how devastating life can be at times.

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