Tuesday, April 17, 2007

super tired.

This is possibly the busiest and most provoking month I've had in a long time. Work has lasted until the sun has threatened to set itself before my bike ride home. The sand is thick in the air- I thought I was flying into little bugs on the way home, passersby must have thought me insane for wearing my big sunglasses in the evening, but my contacts could no longer take the sand in the air.
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I've fallen into bed like a brick. Sleeping long and hard but not feeling safe. I assume it's from the meeting at the Rabbinical Court on Monday, i can hardly remember the last time i have felt so heartbroken and excited about something on this level. Sometimes, I feel the essence of the Ginrod will explode, underneath my skin- it will rupture and I won't be able to take all this craziness anymore. Then I remember: it's all for a reason, G-d told me a secret when I was grieving my hardest, that secret is enough fuel to get through all these moments where I am forced to act like an adult.
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My dreams are quite strong: A new house being built, large and spacious. He's living there too, in the other room. There are two kitchens: one is old and comfortable, the new one has beautiful, custom made cabinets, a large, old fashioned oven is brought in from the former kitchen. "It still works!!" exclaims my friends parents "it's a perfect addition to the kitchen!!" The living room has always been there, an old classic leather chair sits in the corner. A rug keeps the wooden floored room cozy and through the large bay window- the sun is setting.
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I am looking forward to napping throughout the weekend. At the moment I am occupied by the breaking news in the u.s. I'm am amazed to hear the reaction from those who support the right to bear arms.
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"People who want to take this within 24 hours of the event and make it their political hobby horse to ride, I've got nothing but loathing for them," Says the Governor of VA.
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I agree with my co-worker: Citizens need arms when their government can't protect them. Maybe my government should work on protecting their citizens. The U.S isn't the wild west anymore.

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