Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Rock and roll

"I should have been a rockstar" is the thought that passed through my mind walking to work this morning. What's disturbing about this notion was that I was really thinking hard about it. Thought how much I would enjoy the stress of touring, and the temptation of fans and just the general fun of stage lights and Rock'nroll.
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Rockstar, Judaism, Rockstar Judaism. Hedonistic attitudes. Rock'n Roll, rolling pins. Rolling stones. Row Row Row your boat. Boating oars. Band whores.
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I like to think about things in my head as if I had more of a choice in the matter than fate. I suppose fate is one of those things you love when it's all beautiful, blame it when it's bad- then say it doesn't exist when the skies go vanilla.
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Rockstar Susi su. Oh! I'd never have made it, I only play the drums and the harmonica, and I only know punk rock beats. Plus I am left-handed but still can't manage to get myself comfortable on a guitar since I like holding it right-handed, but my brain won't let my right fingers move like they should.
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The trip in meeting my family seems to have fallen through, and I am a bit bummed. and since everyone else is meeting their families during the lovely Passover Holiday I figure I should have something to look forward to. More so due to the fact that somewhere, deep inside- I have a feeling the Bet Din is not going to convert me next month. I hate admitting it- but I think they have too much pride to throw me that bone. Argh- these memorials really get to the innards of ones soul. I think all my friends are well aware that this is an extremely frustrating time, but I have to remember not to freak out everyone with an existential crisis part 2.
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Soooooo..It's time to up it up a notch. and create something beautiful- ya know- to balance out this frustrating time. I think it starts with getting one's hair Did. Then you hang out with extremely fascinating people. Then do something completely, madly insane, that it's so mad that every time you think about it in the future- you have a smirk on your face. Just let me think about it for a second...

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