Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Dance with me?

I became ill with the homesick flu. For a few hours, my heart swelled up with a temperature and my soul became sour and congested. My mouth, it was dry and my throat ached.
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All is not lost. My mother called to tell me she has convinced her youngest sister to jump on the plane with her. I don't know if I have ever been so excited and proud that they're actually coming. My aunt is a survivor, I am convinced to this day she has the secret of life in a oak chest in the back of her closet. She hid it under the bed when we were roommates, I saw it once, but she smiled and hid it from me. And my mother! ah! more dancing videos. Summer can't come quick enough for me.
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Now, I just wish Passover passed over so I can get through it all and see the mom. This whole holiday with every one's family in town and then the whole coping thing has already started to wash over me. Every time a date approaches, I don't believe I can get through it. I told my brother yesterday "Well, at least it's not as painful as a couple years ago" and we both let out an uncomfortable laugh. We both know it's the worst. I have this innate desire to run and hide, to not attend any of the memorials and not acknowledge anything. "Can't I pretend it's someone else's story?" I think to myself. I feel guilty that Passover makes my body ache.
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In the name of keeping my spirits up. I am listing all the dances I have done in the last 5 days. I'll probably create a Passover dance as well.

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  • Bixby High school Cheerleading fight song dance

  • Tinikling

  • E-tick E-tick

  • Fawn Thai dance

  • "Hey!! I'm cold" Dance

  • "Hey look!! I'm on my co-workers crutches and it's a good time for Broadway" Dance

  • "I can shake it on a bike too!" Dance

Stop. You know it's good for the soul. Booyah. (can you tell the sun is out today?)

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