Monday, February 19, 2007

Realizations

Realizations about an existential crisis:
1. Barkan Cabernet Sauvignon does not cure an existential crisis.
2. Time with an existential crisis is like a guy you hooked up with the first time- very weary, but go with the flow to see what happens.
3. G-d is on vacation when you ring him.
4. Your Rabbi becomes part of "G-ds" Mafia and you wonder what they are gonna do to you when the Star of David is stamped on your right hand for entrance.
5. Putting up new wallpaper on your computers does not remedy an existential crisis.
6. Your own countryman are to blame for your crisis.
7. eating your co-workers chocolates that SHE received for VD does not quell the crisis.
8. You cannot put the crisis out with a fire extinguisher. You just end up upsetting your roommate and there's a lot of cleanup.
9. The soundproof professional ear phones your roommate owns do not block out the existential crisis in the evening.
10. an Existential crisis cannot be peeled with a potato peeler. Instead, it must be chopped and blended with a banana and orange juice.

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