Saturday, December 16, 2006

xoxo

It was daytime the entire flight, and when we flew over Spain, my imagination went wild. I got this grin looking down at the many ships parked in some bay, water blue enough to see from the sky. I've only been gone a year, but I think in the last year- Israel became such a strong part of everything me that I forgot people had lives outside of it. Or would want to.

Is it an ice trail the gases of planes leave in the air? I can't be sure but assumed that it was. It followed the same direction, parallel to our plane. Particles of gases/water momentarily frozen into a path- it looked like something sprayed in from Adobe Photoshop.

I had a realization that I thought about the same thing this time last year on the plane. It wasn't about Tsiki and it wasn't about conversion and it made my heart sting a little to know such thoughts are still conflicted in my heart and I think I had a moment with myself, where I put my foot in my mouth and questioned my own soul -if I believe all the things I spout out to in terms of life philosophy and who matters to me most, where I try to remember a little bit more when I was a bit naive about so much and how that was really pleasant.

So now i'm here, jet lagged and sleeping amongst my cousins, who drove in 6 hours to catch up and keep up with Bryan and I, and I know it's only been a year- but the coming home these days carries a different step in the Ginrod dance of life.

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