Thursday, November 16, 2006

Poor Sarai

This weeks Parashat Shuvua is Chayei Sarah. Listening to my Rabbi last night, i've felt a bit guilty of how i've allowed the changing of seasons to affect me. I've allowed a negative outlook to tarnish the move forward energy i've always tried maintain in the world. Being a Sunday girl, I am very black and white, since my energy is fire- It can be used as pure anger, or as energy that fuels one's soul to take those leaps and bounds forward. It's a challenge for me to maintain authenticity in the middle. I often choose not to, in the kindest way possible of course.

As Emerson once said: Life consists of what man thinks everyday.

Generally, I think everyday of Judaic Philosophy, of my past, and of food. I sometimes think of licking people and when I do, I read something extemely academic to dumb my desires down.

Honestly, I don't think there's momentous change to be had until I complete my conversion and get through next seasons Passover. As always, Pesach will be the toughest time of year for the Ginrod soul and I do hope with the birth of Tsiki's niece and my conversion, a rising Phoenix of beauty will fly into our world. If anything, my energies of this year will show some favor in making another step.

I do value the insight I gain each time I study.. into my own character and into the character of Judaism. I feel as if it's helping me blend into the person I am becoming. These stories have existed for thousands of years, people have studied and learned from these chapters during that time and in reading these chapters- one feels a bit humbled when you put what you've learned into daily thought and practice.


So to some it up- it goes a bit like this:

If Sarah, the wife of Avraham in her life time copes with:

  • 2 abductions ( sexual)
  • almost a lifetime of childlessness
  • witnessing her maidservant bear a child to the her man
  • breastfeed at 90+ years old when she finally does conceive
  • and then at the end, she dies of a heart attack because she believed her only son has been slaughtered by the love of her life......

....and is seen as a women who was as sinless as a 20 year old and is the Matriarch of Judaism as we know it....

Well- I guess she brings the whole "the city of happiness is in the state of mind" saying to a new level. Either a long life brings a lot of ups and downs and abductions, or the single most important thing to remember is: It's really not about what you've gone through in life, it's about how you handle and gain character from it.

I'm about to handle me some relaxing drinks for the weekend.


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